Hell's Martyr (celebdur) wrote,
Hell's Martyr

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You know what they say about turnabout...

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Celebdur is being stalked on Livejournal!

pushmearound is stalking Celebdur
pushmearound’s REAL name : Apple Stroud
pushmearound’s REAL DOB : 25th March 1984
Height :186 cm Weight : 65.7 kg
pushmearound has dreamt about you : 19 times
pushmearound became interested in you : 10th December 2004
pushmearound’s latest dream about you
You are stranded with pushmearound on a deserted island and your stalker is trying to coax you towards sex by hoarding all of the food and refusing to give you any until you give in to their wishes.
This is how pushmearound describes your relationship behind your back
‘Celebdur phoned the police on me again last night. I’m going to go around tonight and finish him off with my hunting knife.’
pushmearound’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
pushmearound enjoys nothing more than to start the morning by taking a heroic sniff from one of Celebdur’s stolen socks.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
In the past year pushmearound has spent their entire life savings on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to look more like you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I love you darling. Shall we organise our funeral arrangements soon? We wouldn’t want to be buried without one another would we?

The Police
No. calls to the police : 12 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"I’ve had enough of this. You know pushmearound, that crazed internet stalker you’ve been after for the last 6 months, well they’ve been stalking me too. They were just over at my house there not so long ago and threatened to come back and burn down my house."
pushmearound’s Police File
pushmearound seems to have changed their ways in the past couple of years. Our only complaints are that he refuses to wash. You should have smelt their fucking cell after they were released. One of our wardens nearly died of shock.

Testimonies about pushmearound
xgregart - Stoner of the crows
‘Fucking hell! This is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Celebdur should really be in hospital receiving X-rays to the head.’
vitaminacetone - Marathon Munt
‘Are you serious? Fucking hell. I should’ve known. Something tells me that pushmearound is going to die pretty shortly.’
b12×12 - Pig-hustler
‘I would not piss on pushmearound if they were on fire.’

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